Being a writer is a lifelong career. I’ve loved books my whole life, and I started considering writing back in the fourth grade when my teacher noticed my interest in stories and started giving me extra prompts to work on. Almost ten years after that I changed my college major to creative writing. I had been planning on becoming a high school math teacher, but I realized I needed to follow my dream.

Even though I have a degree in creative writing and have been trying to write pretty much my whole life, it has been a very long learning process and I am still continuing to learn to write every single day. Here are five things I’ve learned that I wish I’d known when I started writing:

1. It’s Okay to Not Write Every Day
The most common piece of writing advice I see—and one I disagree with—is that you should write every day. I don’t. And I think it’s perfectly okay. Personally, I get burnt out if I write something every day. And I’m not the kind of person who can just force the words to come.

It was a hard lesson to learn that it’s okay not to write every day. I think the better way to think about it is to stick to whatever schedule you’ve made for yourself. I’ve made myself a goal sheet with how many hours I want to work each week, and I check them off as I complete them.

It’s also important to recognize that a lot goes into writing other than the actual typing of words in a draft. There’s brainstorming, editing, marketing, learning craft, and, of course, lots and lots of reading. Writing doesn’t always look like writing, but all of those things together add up to this job of being a writer.

2. No One Cares if You Write
This one came from my favorite college professor. It sounds harsh, but what it means is that no one’s going to pat you on the back if you get your work done or shake their fist at you if you don’t. Writers are on their own for the most part. And if you don’t have a burning desire to write—if you don’t have to do it—then you’re most likely not going to do it.

3. Social Media Doesn’t Have to be Scary
I don’t like the Internet. I’ve had to learn how to be online in order to connect with my readers. And what I wish I had known before I started was that it’s not as scary as it seems. I had to learn to take things slowly, learning one network at a time and then taking my time with creating my website. And it was way less scary and overwhelming this way.

4. It’s Okay to Invest in Yourself
This was probably the hardest lesson for me, because I don’t like to spend money. I feel really guilty if I buy anything for myself. I’m a frugal person and am always on the hunt for sales. The last thing I’d want is to spend money for a job in which I haven’t made any money (yet). But I’ve had to learn that it’s okay to invest in myself. It’s okay to take an online marketing class. It’s okay to buy those books on craft. It’s okay to pay for a web domain and a photo editing service. I’ve had to learn that I need to treat my writing like an actual business, and that I need to set myself up for future success by getting the right tools.

5. It’s Going to Take a Long Time
Being a writer is a lifelong career. We live in a culture where we feel like we have to have everything right now. But writing is a slow process. It takes time to learn how to write. It takes time to actually write a book. It takes time to publish a book. I’ve had to learn to take things slowly and realize that I’m in this for the long haul. So I’m going to keep learning and I’m going to keep writing, and I’m going to keep trying to get published through a traditional publisher. And it’s okay if it takes a long time.

While I wish I had known all of this back when I started writing, the most important thing I did know was that I had something to say. Everyone has something to say, some unique perspective that they can offer to the world. And I knew from the beginning that I had a lot to say and that I could say it all through writing. I don’t think I would have made it this far if I hadn’t known that.